A Checklist For A Successful Relationship

How to sustain a loving relationship isn’t a secret, it’s just hard. The next entries will reveal if the two of you have got what it takes.

1. You have sexual chemistry. Although your desires aren’t identical, you both feel safe exploring your sexual feelings and fantasies together without judgment.
2. You see each other’s imperfections. And accept the other person’s unfortunate quirks and irrational behaviours as part of their humanity.
3. You feel grateful. Being truly cared for by someone who regularly endures our darkness is an act of heroism.
4. You correct your errors. You both readily apologize for mistakes, leading to forgiveness and moving on without holding grudges.
5. You can joke with each other. You maintain a playful attitude in even the most toughest times and can tease each other without doing any damage.
6. You don’t shy away from negativity. You allow space for occasional anger or disappointment, understanding that suppressing feelings is far more harmful to the success of your relationship.
7. You start sentences with ‘I’. You communicate your feelings and perspectives without slinging unhelpful labels and judgments at your partner.
8. You’re strategic instead of brutally honest. You understand that not all truths need to be shared if they’re hurtful and unnecessary.
9. You’re emotionally aware. You recognise that anger often stems from fear or disappointment and try to approach conflicts with vulnerability rather than rage.
10. You have realistic expectations. You know relationships are hard work and don’t romanticize them as effortless.
11. You don’t see neediness as a flaw. It’s understood that human beings are social creatures with strong emotional needs. That’s why you both feel comfortable expressing your desires for closeness, attention, and support without fear of judgment or rejection.
12. You’re familiar with attachment styles and your past. By understanding how your past experiences influence your behaviour, you can identify and communicate your needs and feelings more clearly and resolve conflicts more efficiently.
13. You value the small things. You know that clearing up the dishes in the sink, bringing home their favorite snack, setting time aside to talk, and thanking your partner for the things they do are anything but small.
14. You stay curious about each other. You never forget to show interest in each other’s thoughts and feelings, because you know they’re not the same person as when you met them.
15. You don’t make assumptions. You discuss the actions of your partner that hurt you instead of assuming malicious intent and address these issues as quickly as possible.
16. You’re open to growth. You recognise that there’s no such thing as unconditional romantic love and you do your best to take on your partner’s feedback.
17. You don’t see each other as saviors. While your partner is hugely important to you, you understand that their love won’t magically fix everything that’s bothering you.
18. You’re open to therapy You see a marriage counselor, not because you’re experiencing major issues, but because you know relationship problems are inevitable and you can use some assistance.