Despite our best efforts, some of us are stuck being single. Either we keep attracting the wrong people or we fail to win over the right ones.
When followed properly, the next tips will make your dating life far more enjoyable and rewarding.
- Be aware of your narrative. The stories we tell ourselves about our love lives are powerful because they shape our attitudes, behaviors, and ultimately, our outcomes. What story have you been telling yourself? That you’re not good enough and don’t deserve basic kindness or that you’re learning from past experiences and are worthy of love and respect?
- Express your interest. Someone has to go first and it might as well be you. Of course, you don’t want to enter a one-sided situation, so give interest and warmth, then watch what comes back. If the energy only goes in one direction, take your interest elsewhere.
- Focus on how they make you feel. Once we like someone, it’s tempting to let a fragment suggest the whole. But we won’t know if they’re good for us unless they consistently show us. Someone hot, funny, smart, and cool can still make us feel confused, anxious, and alone.
- Express your standards. People won’t know how to make you happy until you tell them. Once you tactfully communicate what you want to see, pay attention to who delivers.
- Be the right things. If we want to be seen and accepted for who we are, it helps to be silly, vulnerable, and real first. When we’re focused on being cool and impressive, however, even the most successful and healthy people won’t be able to relax and relate with us.
- Be happy enough by yourself. If you love your life, you won’t jump into a relationship unless they’re really special. But if your happiness hinges on having a partner, you’ll drain the fun out of dating and find it hard to let go of someone who’s not right for you. Focus on loving your life and you’ll discover that romantic love is just one of life’s many marvels.