Social media brings us remarkably close together. Most of us are only about five followers away from each other. And the most popular among us are probably already visible on each other’s feeds.
The curious thing is that much of it is a fantasy. Few of our followers are actually our friend. Rather than looking to support us, the majority of our contacts is seeking to get away from their troubles and find reassurance of their worth.
It’s not about us, but them. So if we need a small loan or a place to stay for a few nights, few of our following will come to our aid. And the ones that do help will likely be people who we’ve built a connection with that goes far beyond exchanging a few clicks, comments, and heart emojis.
Meeting new people is always important when it’s real and a distraction when it’s fake. Unfortunately, the friendship scoreboard has conned a lot of us into believing it’s worthwhile.
But just because Facebook and Instagram measure our followers, doesn’t mean it’ll translate to anything tangible, such as get-togethers, a community, or companionship.
Although being popular can make us feel better when our spirits are low, it’s only a temporary fix at best. If we’re regularly unsure if we’re worthy of attention and kindness from those we like, the validation of strangers will do little to change that.
To make matters even worse, their verdict will never be a reliable yes, no matter how hard we try.
Instead of seeking goodwill and sympathy from an online audience, we should focus on nurturing genuine relationships and finding comfort in our own company.
If we spend too much time on social media, we may find ourselves incapable of sitting alone in a room with our thoughts. When never confronted, our regrets, disappointments and worries can be too much to bare.
If even the most wondrous sights, such as a golden sunset or a starry night sky, can’t pull us away from our phones, it’s a strong sign that we’re afraid of the contents of our minds. And that we should spend more time with ourselves.
When our feelings are welcome and our relationships are real, the allure of social media will be a gentle breeze in the distance rather than a whirlwind in our minds.