Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Are You Eating Marshmallows?

Back in the times of flower power, a group of psychologists ran a study on a group of kids.

Ranging from four to six, the children were led into a room with a table. And on that table was a special treat, a marshmallow.

The kids were given a choice.

“You’re free to eat the marshmallow. But if it’s still here when I come back in fifteen minutes, you’ll get two marshmallows.”

A few ate the sugary devil as soon as the researcher left the room. But most of the children tried to hold out until the man in the lab coat came back.

Only one out of three young’uns got the second marshmallow.

What makes the study special, is that the researchers kept tabs on the double treat kids for another 30 years.

Those who waited for the second sweet did better in life. Higher SAT scores, more friends, better education, bigger paychecks, and so on.

The conclusion the beatnik scientists are selling?

Push aside the first marshmallow you’re offered because it pays off in the long run.

I disagree.

By all means, take the marshmallow. Or don’t. Sometimes the wait is worth it.

But there’s a more important question than whether or not to sit tight for the second marshmallow:

Are you regularly being offered even one marshmallow?

If not, you need to start showing up. Because there’s plenty of marshmallows waiting to be taken.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach