Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Bucketlists Won’t Give You What You Want

Bungeejumping, swimming with dolphins and getting gored by the bulls at Pamplona running with the bulls at Pamplona. These are some of the most common items you’ll find on bucket lists across the world.

Does that mean these experiences have a bigger chance of making us happy?

Not quite.

So why have these activities become so popular? The answer lies in the purpose of the before-you-die list, it’s a way to gauge the value of our lives. And the people who tend to dig bucket lists, tend to look at life as a series of hedonistic thrills.

The more thrills experienced, the better the life. 

When put like this, you can already sense the absurdity of the statement. Just because you did a lot of cool things doesn’t mean you had a good time. 

If you’ve ever seen the Mona Lisa, or any other hyped-up tourist trap, you already know what I mean. Even if it’s one of the most gorgeous sights life has to offer, the experience will be a dud if you’re expecting to be blown away.  

Happiness and joy don’t follow a schedule. Much like a good night’s sleep, they arise spontaneously. And the more you force it to happen, the more it escapes you.

So whenever you create fun plans for the future, make sure to leave enough room in your life for spontaneity. Otherwise you may set yourself up for disappointment.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach