Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Dreams Are (Mostly) Stupid

Having no dreams and aspirations can feel distressing. Almost everyone seems to be zealously chasing something important. And yet you feel like you have no zeal to speak of. Nothing to motivate you to reach for the moon or change the world.

Is something wrong with you?


It’s perfectly fine to grow up without passions and aspirations. Only the fortunate have clear dreams. Most of us simply have interests.

And for it to become the object of your devotion, the interest doesn’t really matter.

All that matters is that you pour as much energy into your favourite curiosity as you can.

It’ll improve your life in ways that you can’t foresee. And there are zero downsides.

Just keep showing up and putting in the hours until you feel the magic wear off. 

For some, that moment never comes. For others, the magic dissipates far too soon and ruins their long-term plans. 

Fine. Let it happen.

Who says dreams and fascinations have to last?

If changing dreams doesn’t burden others, allow your vision to turn into something else. 

Dreams only exist to give you a sense of direction in the turbulent and marvelous flow of life. Don’t have a dream yet? Just settle for whatever’s in front of you, it’ll give you all the guidance you need.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach