Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Everyone Is Faking It

In the early 2000s, a reverend accused the United States of creating the aids virus and said that the 9/11 terrorist attacks were deserved for being “the number one killer in the world”. In 2008, former president Obama said he saw that reverend as his uncle.

How could the president of America speak so lovingly of such an unpatriotic man?

As Bill O’Reilly rightly put it: “I wouldn’t sit in a church where a pastor said that. Would you? Why does Sen. Obama? That’s a simple question.” 

It was a simple question. And the truth was even simpler.

Obama never heard the sermons where the reverend made these outrageous statements. In fact, Obama had barely gone to church since the birth of his children. Only on special occasions.

So why did Obama speak so highly of this insensitive clergyman?

Because the American public would rather have a person with zero political experience, or someone who cheats on his wife, than an atheist president.

To show that he was a man of God, Obama made faith a central point of his campaign and spoke about the reverend of his church like he was family.

Put simply: the 44th president accidentally supported an anti-patriot because he was faking his devotion to Christ.

Politicians pretending to be someone else than who they are is nothing new. But you’re no different. Heck, we’re all pretending.

We have to.

If you voiced every thought or feeling that entered your head, you’d be alone or dead. After all, our tired, stressed or busy selves can be pretty selfish and mean.

That’s why many of us choose not to act on every transient sentiment. We recognize that those fleeting feelings won’t help us make friends and get ahead.

So we put forward our considered self. The one that does its best to be loyal, kind and professional.

And as long as your fakery is making people happier and helping you weave in and out of social interactions with your honor intact, there’s nothing wrong with it.

It certainly beats being ‘authentic’ and committing social suicide.

Everyone is faking it and being the most considerate person they can be. The last time anyone was truly authentic was when we were filling up our diapers.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach