Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

The Fastest Way To Get Good

Sometimes you see a quote that seems insightful on first glance, but you quickly realise that it’s rubbish. This is one of those quotes. (Sorry, Josh.)

Doing is more valuable than learning. Because 100% of time spent doing things is also time spent learning things. The opposite is not true.” — Josh Spector

It’s obviously true that you can’t really learn skills from a book. If you want to be a good boxer, you have to throw a punch. 

But just because you’re throwing punches doesn’t mean you’re getting any better. To get better, you need to do it right first. Do it wrong for decades? Then you better hope you have a hard head if you ever end up in a fist fight. 

The poor pugilist from this video found out he had a rather squishy head. His bad practice habits got him hurt quite badly, so don’t watch the clip if you’re squeamish. 

The same logic applies to any skill: poor practice doesn’t lead to progress. Even if done consistently.

Otherwise, everybody wouldn’t only think they’re great drivers, they actually would be great drivers.

Putting in hours is simply not enough.

What’s the missing ingredient?


To get good at something, you need deliberate practice. You can’t just mindlessly go through the motions. You must focus your attention on what you’re doing and have a specific goal in mind. 

Otherwise, you’re simply reinforcing your shitty existing habits. In other words, you plateau. Repeat the same behaviour for 10,000 hours and you probably won’t be any further.

So what does deliberate practice look like?

You identify your most glaring weakness, find a solution, and work to slowly integrate the solution into your system so it becomes automatic.

The most important part of practice is done with your head, not your body.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach