Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Three Words That Make You A Better Problem Solver

Every day, people come to us seeking help. Whether it’s a colleague with a question, a neighbour with a problem, or a loved one looking for feedback. And what do we tend to do in these situations? After we’re done gloating, we answer almost instantly.

The trouble? It’s ineffective!

Even though we barely know what problem the other person is facing, we’re confident we’ve got the answer they need. In other words, we’re firing from the hip at a target that we can barely see.

That’s why your first response shouldn’t be to blurt out advice, but to gain more information using three simple words:

“Tell me more.”

And it doesn’t stop here. After you hear them out once, you want to hear them out again.

“And what else?”

Only once the other person has nothing else left to say does it become your turn to give them the help they want.

Why only now?

Because now you’ve had more time to come up with a good answer, you’ve got all the relevant information, and you’ve made the other person feel heard and seen.

Ask more, talk less.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach