Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Best Friends Can Hold You Back

The Myers Briggs test. Fill in 93 questions and find out which personality type you are. The problem?

It’s horse shit.

Besides that the test was made over 100 years ago by people without any formal training in psychology, many people get different results if they wait as little as 5 weeks between do-overs. 

Suffice to say, leading psychologists label the test as pseudoscience. So why is the questionnaire so popular?

It’s fun to see what you get!

Plus, the test results are vague enough that it’s hard to argue with and easy to take on. Read through all the Briggs personality types and you’ll feel that a bunch describe you surprisingly well.

This familiarity doesn’t mean the test is accurate. Only that we have a poor understanding of who we are. We’re strangers to ourselves.

Although we absolutely don’t feel that way. 

For some reason, we value consistency above almost anything and we’ll go to great lengths to uphold our image. Once we commit to the story we call our identity, we want to believe that it’s true.

That’s why it can feel so freeing to meet new people. You can start fresh and be who you feel to be without judgement.

So as surprising as it may sound, it’s actually the hardest to be yourself around the people you know the longest.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach