Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Emotions Are Always Relevant

It doesn’t matter if you had the most ordinary and uneventful day, if your partner is expecting that call, you make it. Because to them, seeing your name pop up on their phone feels wonderful.

It doesn’t matter if the soles of your shoes are cleaner than an operating table, if the host of the house wants them off, you take them off. Because it’s not about what you drag into the house, it’s about showing respect and making someone feel good.

These things aren’t always logical and they don’t need to be.

We’re creatures of emotion.

Anything we do or avoid is done because we think it’s somehow going to make us feel good. Whether it’s now or later. 

The trouble is that we get many of our good feelings from illogical things. And when the two get too far apart, we cease to understand the other person. Even worse, we may even yuck their yum, or write off their fear.

And that’s a problem. Because we’re not in charge of our emotions, only how we choose to deal with them.

So if you see someone lose their shit over something trivial, it doesn’t help to tell them to snap out of it. They clearly care.

Do you want to be helpful? Be curious and seek to understand. Do you want peace for yourself? Walk away.

Emotions are always relevant for the person experiencing them. Belittling them doesn’t help.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach