Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Finding A Sense Of Belonging

Fire up Instagram or any dating app and you’ll think that everyone’s role model is Marco Polo. Everyone is nuts for travel. And they’re enamoured with the plane and beach emojis.

Being part of a society of explorers and adventurers almost makes you feel proud. Until you realise that most of these travelers go abroad for perhaps a few weeks per year and act as tourists.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Seeking novelty and adventure is definitely a life-enriching experience. But it’s only part of what it means to travel. 

The thrill of exploration has become so sought after that it’s taken the attention away from something that can be far more nourishing: 

Finding a sense of home.

Flitting from one country, village, or neighbourhood to the next is fun. But it’s also incredibly superficial. 

Instead of seeing all that the world has to offer, it’s also possible to settle in one place for a while and truly get a taste of its beauty.

Put in enough time and attention and you’ll come to truly care about it.

The same thinking applies to most things in life.

Exploring every café, baker, and mom-and-pop shop in your area is far more illuminating than visiting the ten most highly acclaimed hospitality joints in your city. Revisiting the same natural park a dozen times over is far more insightful than visiting twelve different ones. And choosing to love one special person teaches you far more about relationships and yourself than going from one superficial interaction to the next. 

Going deep creates an undeniably special bond between you and the other.

Why do you think you can’t leave your community at the drop of a hat, or why you can’t just swap your child or pet for another?

Because your feelings of love make it an impossibility.

If you’re living your life in a way where you never put down your roots, you’re missing out on a fundamental human experience.

Don’t think you have to stay forever. Just long enough to care about something other than yourself.

How do you start?

Just be extra curious about your home, surroundings, and friends. The rest will follow.

A sense of home isn’t found, it’s built.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach