Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Are You The Asshole?

Knowing if you should quit or move on is one of the hardest skills to develop. And it’s also one of the most essential skills to master.

After all, we face life-altering choices seemingly every day.

Whether it’s sticking with a job that lacks fulfillment, a familiar hobby that’s void of novelty and challenge, a worry that doesn’t help avoid mistakes, or a person we’ve grown attached to who doesn’t treat us right.

How do you know when it’s time to pull the plug?

Once you’ve given your life situation enough consideration to know it’s there to stay, you want to ask yourself one question:

If things stayed the same forever, would I be okay with that?

When you know you can’t tolerate a lifetime of dissatisfaction, your newfound distress moves you to take action now. Perhaps in the form of new hobbies, a long overdue vacation, a difficult conversation, or maybe in the shape of a resignation letter.

And if you don’t look at the long-term impact?

Then you’ll be more likely to tolerate conditions that will slowly send your life down the toilet.

Sometimes walking away and being a selfish asshole is undeniably the right move.

Struggling to make the change?

Then your old habit or behaviour is still meeting a need. Get curious about a new way to meet it.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach