Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

The Secret Of Making Friends Fast

Living is tough. We have to deal with financial struggles, illness, failure, prejudice, heartbreak, and existential concerns, just to name a few of life’s endless headaches.

It’s hard to remain soft and open in the face of all that trouble. Others might take advantage.

So we generally prefer to stay on the defensive.

But instead of keeping our guard up, we keep up appearances. Others can’t know that we’re barely keeping things together.

So we pretend everything is largely okay and deny others from seeing who we really are.

And there hides the trick of making friends fast.

If everyone is closed off, being someone who’s open is incredibly seductive.

While everyone is covering up their fears, flaws, and insecurities, you’re sharing them and allowing others to see they’re not alone. 

You’re actually just like them.

And it’s not just about making yourself relatable through your struggles. Dropping your defences also allows you to be open to the influence of others.

It makes you curious about them. Willing to compliment them. And ready to express your desire to spend quality time with them.

Really, vulnerability is about letting go and allowing yourself to fall under someone’s spell. 

And that’s one of the greatest gifts you can give.

The most exciting thing in the world is someone who likes you and isn’t afraid to show it.

Mark Manson

I understand that it’s scary to let others have power over you. Especially if you’ve had your fair share of painful breakups. 

But if you let the pain of rejection scare you into your shell, you’ll never get the deep friendships that we all so desperately need. 

So be a little vulnerable already.

P.S. Do keep in mind that not everyone is worth making your friend. If you welcome people into your life, you also need to be ready to kick out those who misbehave or revoke their entry into your VIP section.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach