Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Getting Rid Of FOMO

Choosing to stay in on Friday night after a long week often feels like a great idea. Until you see your socials and find out that you could be at the opening of a fancy art exhibition, doing drinks with your buddies, or snorting cocaine off the butt of your new Tinder match who’s only in town for a few days.

What are you at home for, nerd?

No, just kidding. Feeling left out is a very real and upsetting sensation that stems from our herd instinct. The tight knot in your stomach is trying to tell you that you’re in danger.

In our unga bunga days, going against the tribe was a scary thing. 

Leaving the cave to get your 10,000 steps by yourself could have led to getting your jiggly bits gnawed off by a saber tooth tiger.

So it made sense to pay attention to your troglodyte peers.

But today, our human comrades are about 8 billion strong. And we don’t need much protection, no matter where we go in the world. So we’re all doing our own favourite things.

Are you seriously considering keeping up with everyone?

It’s impossible.

Heck, it’s impossible to keep up with just a few dozen people.

Unless you’re never planning on sleeping, you’re going to miss out no matter what. There’s always someone, somewhere doing something cooler than you.

Always.

And there hides the key to losing your fear of missing out.

Every moment you spend could potentially have been spent differently. 

That freedom is exactly what imbues all of your choices with meaning. What you do with your time may not always be the most healthy, exciting, or even respectable, but it is what you deliberately chose to do. 

So stop worrying about what you could be doing. And start valuing and investing in what you’re doing right now.

You can’t do everything, but you can make your situation the best it can be.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach