Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Giving Yourself A Good Day

Wouldn’t it be great if you could intentionally create a good day for yourself? And I don’t mean the routines you see from motivational influencers who have no partner or kids and come shooting out of their beds at the crack of dawn wearing t-shirts with ‘Rise and grind’ on the front.

What does getting up early do anyway? Adding another 60 minutes of anxiety to my day isn’t going to help me.

I’m talking about getting a little closer to where you want go.

Inches, perhaps meters, but not miles.

If incremental improvement speaks to you, then I want to introduce you to an incredibly satisfying system for success:

Set easy targets. Targets that you can easily shoot by on an average day.

Let me give you some examples.

  • Want to start working fast? Set your deadline at 10 AM. Unless you were searching for the bottom of your whiskey bottle last night, you can undoubtedly start earlier. 
  • Want to do daily strolls? Put on some sneakers and lock yourself out every day for five minutes. With nothing else of interest to do, you’ll probably start walking. 
  • Want to get more flexible? Declare your couch off limits next time you’re watching your new favourite Scandi noir series. A hard floor isn’t particularly comfortable, so you may as well sink into a stretch.

Yeh, yeh, I hear what you’re thinking. These are just shifty tactics that only give you the idea you’re meeting your goals.

And that’s partly true. 

But the fascinating thing is that lowballing will lead you to overshoot your goalposts the majority of the time. Which means you’re actually getting somewhere.

Whereas, if you’re convinced that you can only get ahead by doing four hours of Zen-like work every day, you’ll probably fail to meet your goal enough times that you’ll eventually grow frustrated and give up.

You might accomplish what you want. But the odds are against you.

Whereas with the above method, the game is hugely rigged in your favour.

Perhaps you’re different from me, but I like it when things come easy. Plus, I’m a fan of systems that gently nudge my life in the direction I want while giving me enough room to be open to spontaneity.

So if you want to give yourself more good days, try setting your goals stupidly low so you’ll blast past them and leave them in the rearview mirror.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach