Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

How To Become An Unsung Hero

Many people feel that their day-to-day lives don’t represent their genuine selves. They feel too boxed in. 

Trapped in a career that lacks variety and challenge, trapped in daily commutes that follows the same rigid routes, and trapped in a tight schedule with little room for spontaneity and exploration. 

It’s almost like your chores, responsibilities, and even your home, are all ganging up to push you into an early grave and bury you alive.

Complete overwhelm.

That’s why people are so quick to disregard that part of themselves. 

It’s not who they want to be. 

Their real self? That comes forward when they’re outside that everyday framework.

Like when they go on vacation and stuff their suitcase with a wide-brimmed straw hat, two pairs of heels, three summer dresses, and an infinite number of crop tops.


Because it’s when we feel the most interesting, sexy, and alive. 

And that’s the self that we want to show the world.

Even though in reality, our breezy and impressive side only gets to play about five weeks per year. If you’re lucky.

And that’s the rub.

For most people, exotic activities like travel, extreme sports, million-dollar deals, and ayahuasca ceremonies are peripheral. Making these events part of your identity makes no sense.

Your everyday experiences are illustrative of who you are.

It’s your routine that counts, not the few moments that you break away from your usual.

So do yourself a favour and don’t fool yourself. 

Because when you only identify with the cool stuff, you’re disregarding the other 90% of your life. 

And that’s a shame.

Especially when you consider that your ordinary life can be plenty cool too. 

Everyone would love to have a friend, partner, or co-worker who’s attentive, understanding, generous, reliable, playful, and down to try new things. 

If people could pick that up from the shelf in the local supermarket, it would sell more than sliced bread. Everyone would go completely cuckoo for it.

The crazy thing is that you can choose to be that desirable person right now. And live a pretty rich life, in spite of your everyday slog.

After all, you’d never be shy of friends, fun social activities, and a sense of accomplishment.

But there’s just one catch.

You have to be on the hook. You can’t use your ho-hum job and humdrum responsibilities as an excuse to be thoughtless or ill-mannered.

Obviously, you’re still human. And you’re entitled to your off days. Although, not off months.

So you can be a little more grumpy, sad, and concerned with yourself than you’d like for a while. Especially if you take responsibility and make up for your mistakes.

Learning to make the best of your unexceptional life isn’t about being perfect, it’s about trying to make the best of things. Not just for yourself, but also for your work relationships, loved ones, and community.

And it’ll never be ideal. 

But if you try your hardest to be content with your unremarkable days, you’ll make real friends, fall in and out lot love, develop valuable skills, create lasting memories, and be someone you can be proud of.

And that’s what unsung heroes are made of.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach