Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

How To Cope When Your Ex Moves On Too Fast

It doesn’t matter if you initiated it, break ups suck. And it can feel even worse when they fall for someone else almost instantly. How can they move on so fast? It’s as if your time together meant nothing.

But that’s not necessarily true.

Everyone has different coping mechanisms and attachment styles. Some like to tackle emotional distress head on in search of a fix, while others prefer to let distractions drown out the pain in hopes it sorts out itself. 

I know it can feel painful to see photos of your ex in the arms of their new lover. But outward appearances rarely represent someone’s emotional experience. Just because they’re smiling doesn’t mean that they’re not going through heartache. 

They probably hurt just as much as you do when they’re alone with their thoughts and feelings. 

So try not to see your ex’s actions as a sign you didn’t matter to them. After all, most people don’t advertise their suffering to the outside world. And certainly not to an ex.

If what the two of you once shared was meaningful, you can count on it that they’re hurting too. Regardless of what their actions might suggest.

And don’t think you got replaced either. Every romantic relationship comes with a different kind of love. And if you used to have something special together, I’m positive that a part of them still misses you although they might not admit it.

The mind might not like it, but the heart doesn’t forget. 

Don’t worry if your ex is moving on too fast. They’re probably not anyway. Instead, use your energy to focus on being compassionate towards yourself and healing your wounds at your own pace.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach