Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

How To Know If You’re Leading A Good Life

Many of us neglect what we really want to do in life for long stretches at a time. If we’re lucky, we’ve been neglecting our desires for only a few months. But if we get buried by our responsibilities, we can easily lose sight of what we really want for years or even decades.

And that hurts.

Especially since most of our desires are relatively easy to satisfy. At least, if you don’t mistake a desire with a goal. Because it’s not goals that you’re after, but the why behind the goal.

Take being rich.

While being a millionaire is obviously nice, we don’t really care about the number on our bank account. What we actually care about are things such as: showering our loved ones with gifts, spending more time doing what we love, giving special people a leg up, exploring the world, and ordering takeaway because we’d rather die than peel, chop and saute another onion.

Being rich is just a means to an end. What matters is the end. And we find that end by discovering what we value most in life.

The beauty of values is that they’re usually rather simple: staying true to yourself, treating others as you want to be treated, tasting new and different foods, being loving, keeping healthy, helping others, being in the moment, experiencing new things, and so on.

Do you see how easy it is to live a good life if you break down your desires into their underlying value?

Most of what we want is plain, cheap and available right now.

So here’s a call to action: write down your values and figure out what small act you can do that’s in line with one of them. If you value being a kind and good friend, you could give a friend a call. Or text them, since it seems that’s all that phones are made for nowadays.

So how do you know if you’re leading a good life?

If you’re regularly acting true to your values. Check in on yourself on a weekly basis.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach