Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

How To Unlock Your Authentic Self

Not needing to impress people is one of the best personal assets to have. But that’s not something that happens naturally. It takes a lot of experience.

The courage to be yourself largely comes from your memories. Specifically, the montage of your greatest moments. The bigger the hits, the more confident you’ll feel.

If you can skate up and down a halfpipe, fight a real match in a boxing ring, or write a novel, then the opinions of strangers don’t have as big of a hold on you. If you’ve overcome great personal tragedy, asking someone out isn’t all that scary anymore.

But when you dodge the hard stuff, even the most insignificant comment can get under your skin. You’ll get upset about a joke from a TV show that hits a little too close to home. And you’ll catch yourself hiding your opinions, trying to impress people in conversation, and nodding along when you don’t understand what’s being said.

If you want the guts to be your unadulterated self, you need to overcome enough adversity first. So work on that resume of hard knocks.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach