Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

It’s Already Fucked, Relax

We have so many dreams and so little time. If we want to have a real shot at realising our potential, we need to work without rest. Just like the little engine that could.

This is all nonsense, of course.

Achieving our dreams isn’t super-duper hard. It’s impossible. Our ambitions know no bounds. There are simply not enough days in a lifetime to get around to doing all the things we want.

And acting like it’s possible will drive you crazy.

Because now you’ll believe that with enough perseverance, productivity hacks, and delegation skills you’ll somehow free up enough time to make your dreams come true.

But you won’t. Because you’re constantly dreaming up more things to achieve. Olympic gold medalists and Nobel prize winners find new heights to climb and go on living just like the rest of us. 

So your dreams aren’t ambitious and challenging, they’re futile. 

This realisation, if you’re willing to adopt it, may make you want to give it all up. After all, what’s the point in starting if you won’t get what you want?

But that’s overlooking the beauty of hopelessness.

When you know you won’t ever get what you really want, you can throw yourself at life with reckless abandon. 

You can live a fuller life precisely because you don’t really care about where you exactly end up. 

Even if you do happen to make it to where you want to go, your elation will be temporary. You’ll eventually wish you were somewhere else.

Knowing that you’ll never quite be there, that you’ll always be stuck wanting more and different, you can more easily forget about your pipe dreams and focus on doing the possible things that matter.

So relax, it’s already fucked. Make the best of it.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach