Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Making The Most Of The New Year

It’s almost the new year. That means every motivational speaker and self-help guru is telling you to imagine yourself five to ten years in the future and then commit to inching yourself toward that goal.

One percent a day.

It’s terrific advice. If it weren’t for the fact that you really have no clue where you’ll be in three years’ time. Let alone five or ten.

Since you can’t predict where you’ll be mentally, emotionally, or physically, it’s probably better to focus less on controlling the future. And focus more on recreating the best experiences from your past.

That way you’ll know you’ll have a good time.

So reflect on your past year and compare the good and the bad. What events gave you lasting positivity and what events sent your mood down the toilet?

It helps to make a list.

Then in the new year, seek more of the highs and avoid the lows.

For me, that means creating more special moments with my closest friends and family, and to do less relentless plugging of my written work.

Apparently, my prose isn’t as revolutionary as I thought. 

  • Kevin, my postman, “That’s great, dude. But I’m just here to deliver the mail.”
  • Fanni, from jiu jitsu, “No offense, but I already unsubscribed after the first e-mail.”
  • Jasper, my tax advisor, “Just read a couple of your blog things. They were okay. Here’s my written feedback and your invoice for my extra services.”
  • Emily, my bouldering instructor, “Blog? People still make those? Cool. Alright, see you next class.”
  • My mom, “That’s splendid, dear. I’m proud of you. Could you please get some orange juice from the shop?”

Tomorrow will be January 1st. The perfect day to start doing less dumb shit with your life.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach