Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Sometimes The Problem Is You

Almost everyone has at least once experienced a problem that didn’t want to go away. It lingered no matter what we tried. And we tried many, many different things. 

The worst of it all?

Everywhere we looked for answers, we found the same solutions. Solutions that we’d already tested. 

And they didn’t work!

“Why is it that no solution is aimed at helping MY problem? Does no one get I’m going through something clearly different?” we screamed at the void. Or at least, I did.

It’s a sucky situation to be in. Especially if you can’t see how to get out of it.

But it’s actually quite simple.

If your problem persists after applying what all the experts, books, and Google searches told you to do, you need to realise that the real problem here is you.

After all, what’s more likely? 

That the leading expertise that’s helped countless people get rid of a problem that’s near identical to yours is inadequate? Or that you’re half-assing your side of the deal because you don’t believe it’ll work?

Look, I understand. It’s incredibly frustrating to keep getting the same answers to your problem. Especially if your problem has been persisting for a very long time, despite all your hard work.

Not getting the results you want is disheartening. And it makes you feel like you need to try something you haven’t done before.

Resist that urge. 

The odds that your problem is somehow different than what the experts are telling you is highly improbable. 

If you hear hoofs, it could be a zebra. But it’s more like to be a horse. Right?

That’s why it’s best not to overcomplicate things. Bet on the horse and stop worrying it’s something else.

Maybe you won’t fix your problem as quickly as you’d like. But it definitely beats trying baseless alternatives that probably don’t solve anything. 

Don’t get in the way of yourself: think horsies, not zebras.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach