Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

The Introduction Of The Villain

Carl Jung gave us the fascinating idea of a psychological shadow. And just like your regular shadow, everybody has one. But unlike the shade that’s cast onto the ground by our figure, we prefer to stay away from our inner darkness.

It frightens us a little. We don’t like to be reminded of our deceitful, corrupt, and devilish nature. We’d rather leave the shadow unexamined and forget all about it.

But Carl Jung believed that leaving it unchecked was incredibly dangerous. Because if left to its own devices, he believed the shadow could slowly creep into someone’s psyche and take over. Forcing them to act out in dangerous ways.

That’s why the job of the psychotherapist is to help the patient investigate their troubling side. To even embrace and integrate it. By accepting our inner evildoer, Carl thought we’d see the dark times coming long before they arrived. Saving us from doing anything regretful. Plus, we’d also be able to live more enriched lives.

And for good reason. Because someone who always follows the rules and does what is ‘right’ is a perfect bore. We’d find them unnatural and creepy. No one is that happy and helpful unless they want something.

So why would someone try so hard to be that way? It’s okay to be a little rough around the edges.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach