Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

A Trojan Horse

Your instinct is constantly looking to make sense of any life situation by connecting events in a causal story: if this, then that.

Anything new is reason for caution. But if a fresh event isn’t followed by anything bad, it becomes safe. And safety is, of course, very comforting.

Most of the good/bad-narrative entirely eludes our conscious thinking. Even though we do act on it.

We generally give little attention to familiar happenings. And while protection from harm is wonderful, it actually isn’t very noticeable.

Incidents that we have never experienced, however, instantly become our object of study. And, depending on their threat level, may cause us to drop all current thoughts and activities.

But just because something has become familiar doesn’t make it true. A common idea simply ceases to ring any alarm bells. Making it easy to unwittingly adopt as your own.

That suggests that familiarity is more persuasive than truth. Because a message that’s true might not necessarily be commonplace.

For instance, in the world before telescopes, it was obvious that everything in space revolved around us; our planet never seemed to move.

An ancient Greek astronomer, however, used math to realise that the Sun and not the Earth was at the center of the universe.

But it wasn’t until eighteen centuries later that this idea became widely accepted as truth.

Therefore, we give more weight to feeling something is true, rather than rationally verifying an idea.

Assimilating a radically new idea takes time and effort.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach