Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

A World of Deceitful Killers

Schopenhauer was onto something when he said that man can do what he wants, but he cannot want what he wants. Our deepest desires have little to do with our conscious thinking and much to do with our nature. Our heart.

The essential question then becomes: Do you live your life in accordance with your mind or your nature? It’s one of the most fundamental questions to ask because it decides what your life on this earth will be like.

The mind exists to keep you alive, the heart exists to make you happy. Which would you like your life to be centered around? Are you on this planet to survive or to have fun?

The majority of people spend their lives governed by their minds. By logic and careful calculation, constantly trying to maximise their chances of survival. When this view is taken to its biological extreme, it starts to become very hostile.

A mechanical view arises in which every human is seen as a sophisticated machine, whose purpose is to put food down its hatch and trick others into reproducing with it. All other behaviours are purely camouflage and exist to mask their true, predatory nature.

Without sincere compassion, life is felt as a trap that is slowly closing in on you. Leaving you no choice but to get caught or declare war against all that’s other.

But be careful in labeling this self-gratifying scenario as selfish. Only when you don’t follow the thread to its end does it seem that way.

When you keep tugging on the selfish string, you’ll find out what you truly want for yourself lies outside of you. That which your heart desires exists in everything that is other. Not meaning that you desire all of it—our hearts are all selective about what and who they allow inside—but whatever you seek, it exists out there.

To be selfish is to seek the advantage of what you love.

And when our minds become hostile to the environment that our hearts so desperately care for, it is no surprise that the heart eventually gives up. And to be without a heart, is what it truly means to lose your humanity.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach