Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Making Time For What You Want

I’ve yet to find someone who’s perfectly happy with how they spend their time. If you ever press someone about their time expenditure as I do—I justify my interrogations by saying I’m curious—you’ll find out that just about everyone wants to do things differently.

They want to hang out more with friends, have a better workout routine, spend fewer hours at the office, read more, or listen to an album from start to finish. 

Nothing major. 

And yet they all struggle to implement these changes.

Rather than asking how to achieve these goals, it’s better to ask yourself why you’re not already doing these things.

Are you bad at assessing how long your work and other daily chores take to complete? Does your job demand that you deal with random emergencies throughout the day? Are you a freelancer who never turns down work because you’re afraid that you might not get new assignments? Are you so tired after your workday that you don’t have the energy to do the things you actually want to do? Or do you secretly not care as much about these things as you thought?

Figure out what’s keeping you from doing the things you want and your life will fall into place naturally.

At risk of sounding like a condescending prick, I’ll give you one more ‘Duh-doy!’ insight that’s somehow overlooked quite often:

If you can’t do the things you want to do, you need to do less of the things you don’t like to do.

Is your job the problem? Then you may want to consider fraud or becoming a billionaire.

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach