Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

The Smell Of Napalm In The Morning

Every lifeform feels itself to be in the middle.

It’s never the weakest, there is always something below. And it’s never the strongest, there is always something above.

We humans are a bit of a special case. We don’t have any natural enemies, except the odd virus.

Rather than being pushed around by other lifeforms, we get pushed around by the forces of nature.

As with anything greater than you, it’s easy to become hostile toward it. No one wants to be at the mercy of an indifferent higher power. Yet this is how it is for all life forms.

The big difference for us is that we can create tools to increase our strength. So that’s what we do. We want to win!

But if we can fully understand that we can never get out of the middle, and that we’ll always be battling something stronger than us, we can act on our natural inclination to win with joy for living rather than the fear of death.

It’ll make the whole ordeal much more fun.

So when we seek to beat our enemies it should be done to affirm ourselves joyously. Knowing very well it could be the end.

Instead of seeing our competition as villains, we enter battle as natural adversaries.

Do we win? Then we celebrate without annihilating our foe. If our next opponent is even stronger, it’s better to keep one around that’s strong enough to keep us on our toes and weak enough to guarantee victory.

Did we lose? Well, if we’re not out for the count, our understanding of our place in the middle should make it so that we don’t take our loss seriously for too long. In fact, facing our enemy and testing our mettle is one of life’s greatest joys. So we might want a rematch for fun

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach