Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach

Who Are You?

The biggest clue to who we are comes from the difference between what we do and what happens to us. But the line that separates the two can at times become obscure.

Everything that happens outside of your physical body is not under your control. And therefore, clearly not ‘me.’ Agreed?

Here’s where it gets a little tricky.

The activities that occur inside your bag of skin, aren’t entirely run by you either. You don’t beat your heart, digest your food, or grow your bones—that’s all governed by the autonomic nervous system.

But there are certain bodily systems that we can manage, such as breathing. And when you control your breath, you clearly feel that you are doing it. But when you forget to breath, it happens naturally.

Breathing is neither voluntary or involuntary, it’s both.

Even the moving of the body isn’t exclusively done by us. Most undemanding physical activities, such as chewing and walking, are done largely without our full attention.

Using our criterium of conscious manipulation, we don’t feel to be the breath or any aspect of our physical body.

Which is also reflected in our everyday speech. You don’t go to a doctor and say “I am hurting,” but, “My head is hurting.”

Whose head is hurting?

Who are you?

By Jeroen Elsing
Ex-lawyer turned relationship coach